First 38

Life what is the meaning. I always wondered why was I here? So that night I was laying in the bed. “Dominique”!!! I got up and ran in the living room. You need to get this house cleaned up. If I find anything wrong I’m gonna beat your ass. You will never be good for anything but on your back. I better not even see you eating anything. I held my head down as she spoke. I looked up my dad was smiling at me. I felt like death. How would I know what death felt like at 7yrs old. I knew all to well what this was gonna end up as. I pulled the stool to the sink and started the water for the dishes. My brother kicked me in my leg. I fell to the floor he laughed and ran off. They had a good dinner as I tried to sneak me some leftovers he knocked it out my hand and told on me. I had to eat that food off the floor. But hey at least it was food. As I was washing dishes I hdd Ed ld a knife in my hands and started thinking of ways to take myself out. But I cleaned and cleaned. I’ll never forget tonight because it was the start of my downfall. I went to drink my kool aid it was grape. It tasted a little bit funny. But I drunk all of it very fast because I wasn’t supposed to be drinking anything. When I was done with everything they all was sleep. I felt so bad I started vomiting uncontrollably. Rochelle came out to help me. We got cleaned up and I later down. I woke up to screaming and Thelma asked me what happened to all the dish detergent I didn’t know. I got a beating for it. Afterwards Donnie said “how was your juice last night. ” I knew then what happened. As they went outside I went back to my room and just cried… just cried…..