First 38

Thinking about life is a very stressful task believe it or not. As a young girl I really shouldn’t be thinking about life in this way. Should I go away completely or should I stay?  That is the ultimate question… we pulled up to the police station and my stomach dropped. As we walked in I saw my mom and dad standing there with the fake smiles as if they really cared. They looked like mannequins to me. They sat me in this room with a table and toys on it. I was looking in the mirror wondering why was it there. As I sat there playing with my nails and trying to think about how I am gonna get out of this situation the social worker came in. She was this big black women who looked so mean. she had this black recorder and a yellow pad with her. she had some apple juice. How did she know I loved apple juice. She sat down across from me and started to write on the yellow pad. After five minutes she said Dominique my name is Mrs. Walker. I am a social worker do you know what that is?  No ma’am. Well I am here to help you not harm you. So we gonna talk a little about your life. I just looked at her with a blank stare. My life you really want to know about that. I wonder if I can walk out on my life and start a new one. I replied I have nothing to say. Dominique I know this is tough for you but I promise this will be kept confidential. Then she pushed a button on the black box. I was so thirsty and I wanted some juice but I knew I wasn’t allowed to have any. I started to cry because I wanted to go home and just disappear.  She looked at me with her big piercing eyes and kept writing on the yellow pad as if she is studying me…………

First 38

Hello Dominique. I know you don’t want to go home or back to school so when you are ready we can go. How are you? I looked at this woman like she was crazy. I don’t understand why she is talking to me. Its like nothing she is saying is gonna matter to me. I always wondered why do people think that looking into the window of a situation means that you know what we go through. I am fine right now alone. I told the officer. Why are you guys looking for me. I didn’t hurt nobody. Why can’t you let me sit in peace? Well you are a runaway. It is a lot of creepy people in this world that can and will hurt you. I know you feel as though nobody cares but we do. We all just want to help you and your family. I cried at those words. Really what is family? What you call family I call evil. I’m not happy with this so called family. I look at family as in a happy place. People that love you. My family was the trees outside. The birds that I so wished to fly away with. But this family is not my family. I got up and walked away. The cops watched me walk around the baseball field with my head held down low. I was pretty much preparing myself to go through these steps so I can go home to my fate…. I walked to the police car and got in the back seat. I had no words to say because I knew deep down inside I was nothing and nobody actually cared. Those were the words I heard everyday. As I look out of the window I see they kids playing outside looking so happy and care free. But me I am in the back of a police care thinking thinking thinking…….